Hurricane Katrina, eh? Ironic that the hurricane with my name would totally trash New Orleans when I myself don't drink.

In other news, I'm teaching a class: Pediatric Pain Management. This should be interesting.

And in other "other news", Grey and I are doing.. well. The trip to the shore was nice. Say too little rather than say too much, right? Yeah...

Three days off (in a row and on a weekend, no less!) is going to be heavenly. Grey and I are taking a trip to the Jersey Shore. Sort of a semi-reconsiliation, if you will. We had a five-hour phone conversation the other night. It's been a fairly emotional past couple of days, to say the least. Small steps, right?

Between him and all the extra hours at work, I'm starting to forget what sleep feels like.

Kai, your cookies are sitting in my office as we speak I type. The door's unlocked. Consider them a trade for making some kids happy. You still owe me a joke though. I promise I'll come visit when I get back from "vacation".

My hemophiliac patient seems to be on the mend, by the way. His name is Gibson. The nurses will let you know if you can see him or not. But you knew that already.

P.S. Clinic duty isn't too bad.. I am perfectly fine treating legitimate diseases and illnesses, but damn. People do mind-numbingly stupid things to themselves. Plastic shovel guy was a joy to treat.. since I sent his ass, complete with inserted beach toy, to the ER. Bahahaha.

No idea why he decided the clinic was a better choice. He sat there for at least half an hour before I got to him. SAT there. Ow. I wouldn't be surprised if the shovel had to be surgically removed, come to think of it. I certainly couldn't do it in the clinic. Idiot.

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Sooo.. Grey stopped by the other night.. and stayed the night. On my couch, of course. It was.. er.. um.. yeah. I don't know what it was.

I missed him. A lot. It's a relief to be able to finally admit that.

I am totally at a loss about what to do now. Though I think I forgive him. I guess that's a start. A start of what exactly, who the hell knows.

I feel like singing at the top of my lungs while frolicking. Yes, frolicking.

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So, a vampire and a hemophiliac walk into a bar...

I don't have a punch line for the joke yet, but I've been trying to keep this patient alive for days and sometimes I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

I keep coming home smelling like blood.

On an unrelated note, Kat, Jake, Peter, and Claire, I dropped off chocolate chip cookies for you all before I left today. No blood included, sorry. &:)

Rina closed her book and absentmindedly stroked Byron, who was curled up on her lap. Her mind wasn't on her book, and admitting defeat, she tossed it aside. Her stereo continued to softly play random music off of her iPod as she scooted the big black cat off her legs and picked the letter off the table.

The rain pounded against her windows as she held her breath and reread the letter for the tenth time. Or was it the eleventh? She'd lost track. ( Of everything. )

Dr. Pearce-

Obviously you know that I'm one of the newer attendings working in Pediatrics, but I haven't been able to catch you quite at the right time to meet your acquaintance.

Is there a time that you are free that I could stop by and say hello?

Thank you,

-Dr. Murphy

Hmm.. the consensus seems to be that things have been pretty quiet lately. The monotony has been getting to me, to be perfectly frank. I feel like doing something.. out of character for me. I am by nature a calm and not a very thrillseeking person.

I'm contemplating buying a motorcycle or something. Though that would eliminate any environmental benefits of owning a hybrid.

Hmm. This boredom would drive a person to drink. Except that I don't drink. Though doing so for the first time would alleviate the boredom. Getting drunk and doing something I'd regret the next morning ('cause that would inevitably happen my first time drinking) would shake things up for sure.

Ok, totally not doing that. Need to think of something else.

I wonder if there are any skydiving schools in Princeton.

P.S. Don't mock the music; everybody needs a little cheesy 90's music every once in awhile. Ace of Base works quite well for this purpose. Even though you don't admit it, I know you like them. Or at least know the lyrics.

We played Shrek 2 for the kids today, and I have this song stuck in my head.

I don't understand how I can tune and know when I'm off key playing my violin, but can't do the same thing with my voice. My signature style of singing is best done alone in the shower with the windows closed.

On a related note, I need to buy some boots and a rapier for my cats. Puss-in-Boots is precious. What can I say, I'm a sucker for big green eyes and a Spanish accent.

Off to get a cup of tea and some oatmeal raisin cookies. I thought I wouldn't want any, but they go really well with tea.

EDIT: All the cookies are gone already?! I don't know whether to pout or be flattered.

Working the night shift and then going to day really screws with one's sleeping schedule.

Blah.

My house still smells like cookies. I'm sick of them already.

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I pulled out my violin tonight and played Bach's Concerto for Two Violins in D minor. I can't remember the last time I took it out of its case.

I cried. But it felt good. Really good. Both playing and crying.

I have yet to be able to listen to my CD, but I hope Kai likes it. That is my favorite track on it. I have to admit, hearing myself play both parts of my all-time favorite concerto is pretty fucking cool.

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Oh, how I love thee, iTunes. You pick the best songs at all the right times.

I'm going to dance around my house, scare my cats, and hopefully tire myself out enough so that I can go back to sleep.

I have way too much energy right now.

The cute little girl with cystic fibrosis had died tonight. She had been one of Rina's patients, and she had tried to resuscitate her for half an hour before giving up.

She'd filed the necessary paperwork, gave her sincere condolences to the parents, and had taken a break with the nurses' blessing. She had wandered the halls of PPTH, not really knowing where she was going and not caring either. Eventually she'd found herself in a stairwell and had started to climb until she found herself at the door leading to the roof of the hospital. That is where she was now, back against the wall, looking up at the sky in a vain attempt to stop the tears from falling. ( Continue )

Sooo.. I got all the cookie ingredients today. That was a lot of... everything. Jake and I have our work cut out for us tomorrow.

I'm excited though!

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I also put myself up for the hospital auction. It was for charity and it's a good way to meet people since I'm new. Right? Right???? ... What in the hell was I thinking?

I don't date. Ever.

...

Maybe it's time to actually confront everything. And stop being afraid. I'm tired of this doublethink life.

But I think I'm more tired of being so damn lonely and more afraid of letting myself make this emotional damage permanent. It's almost been ten years...

I think I'll schedule an appointment with one of the Psych staff after tomorrow.

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Well, this is something I did a LONG time ago when I started working at UPenn, but I think everybody here would appreciate it as well.

I'm Rina Murphy, brand-spanking new attending Pediatrics.. and I have a cooking problem. More specifically, I have a cooking problem relating to cooking for other people.

I must have been a chef in another life. Or Italian.

Anywho, I've hatched a plan to make about two dozen cookies or so for every department (though Peds gets special attention, for obvious reasons). Just my little Hey-I'm-new-and-I'm-glad-to-be-here present for you all.

The list goes as follows:

- Oatmeal raisin or oatmeal cranberry
- Dark chocolate chip or milk chocolate chip
- Peanut butter
- Chocolate and peanut butter chip
- Sugar (I can make 'em plain or with some sort of candy on top)
- Macadamia nuts with white chocolate

Each department MUST tell me what they want, otherwise I'll choose for you (I've never made a bad tasting cookie, if it's any consolation). I can make split batches as well, so it doesn't have to be all one kind.

Oh, almost forgot.. food allergies, tell me about 'em. Everything nut has "-nut" clearly in the name, but if you have a problem with eggs or glutens, I can work around that too.

And now I'll be able to go food shopping AND test out all my new pots and pans! So let me know ASAP! =)

EDIT: I'm baking this weekend, so everybody has until Friday. And Dr. Moore has graciously agreed to help me, so hearty thanks are in order for him.

As Rina made her way to PPTH, she sang along to Coldplay that she was playing in her car and smiled. Today had been INSANE, but so ridiculously wonderful.

( Earlier... )

The night shift was almost always slow on the Pediatrics floor.. almost. Thankfully, tonight wasn't an exception. Rina had made her rounds, returned to her office, and was about to pick up her copy of Vanity Fair when her computer made a pinging noise.. new email.. from PPTH!! Her heart skipped a beat, and she opened it.. she'd been hired! It took a moment to sink in, but then she let out a little scream and a giggle, and danced in a circle around her tiny office. Luckily, none of the nurses were nearby to take notice of -what was for her- bizarre behavior.

Ok.. I need to leave early tonight, Johnson owes me more than a couple of favors so he'll cover me.. pack.. um.. oh shit, bone marrow in the morning, that'll make travel to Jersey adventurous.. um.. right, a place to live. Daddy knows people who own property and such, so that shouldn't be a problem.. Shelley and Byron are not going to like this, but that's too bad for them, cause I'm outta here!!

She grinned and picked up the phone to call Johnson. He was going to be pissed that she was calling him this late, but at the moment, she was too euphoric to care.

Rina came home to catch a quick snooze and grab something to eat before working the night shift. She had dark circles under her eyes from her sleepless night, but her eyes were bright and alert. She popped a Blue Man Group CD into the computer and pulled up her journal. She'd been feeling a bit.. not herself lately, and hoped that a journal would help. And since she hated her handwriting and typed just as quickly, an online one seemed the most logical.

Why are all my user pictures so.. weird looking? I guess I'm going to have to look Quasimodo-esque until a) I figure out how to edit my pictures in something other than Paint or b) I can find sufficient temptation for the pale computer tech who comes up to the floor every once in awhile. Everyone else in this department is not computer savvy in the least, including myself.

Go go gadget double chocolate chip cookies!

No news from PPTH, either. (Luck be a lady.. PLEASE???)

Her forehead furrowed when she thought of luck. She hadn't had a whole lot of it in the past, but recently things had been pretty calm and downright monotonous. Indeed, there were others who needed luck more than she did, especially the little girl with leukemia she had left that afternoon. She wasn't getting any better, but thankfully wasn't looking any worse... yet.

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The Martin child needs a bone marrow transplant and we're having no luck finding a match.

I'm donating. There's not a good chance that we'll match, but it's worth a try.

No way I'm letting her die if I can do something about it.

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Pleased that she had thought of something else to do, she quickly called up the hospital, scheduled a time the next day for the donation, and then went to bed and slept better than she had in a long time.

Still haven't heard back from PPTH.

Aaaand... I can't sleep.

Damn.

Although I'm not a huge fan of smoking in general, Daddy's pipe smells awfully good.

Both of us are awake at four in the morning, and we both have work in the morning. Late night tea = bad.

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I need to get out of Philly. I love Daddy, but there are too many ghosts and memories in this city and in this house.

I hope PPTH contacts me soon.

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After writing the first entry in her new journal, which she had pretty much begun on a whim, she spent another half hour tweaking it to her liking and finally collapsed into bed, only to wake up three hours later to go to work.